I want to lose 2 stone… 28lbs 

Day 5:- Negative consequences…

I’ve gained weight, become unhappy, and lost control. I’m more anxiety ridden now. So nothing good really.

Day 6:- Weight gain

I have, I’ve gained… 4st11lbs ( 67lbs ) at my biggest (since starting to binge eat)… I was slightly underweight to start with. Now I’m a stone over weight.

I talk to a friend who had anorexia, but even then I don’t think she understands. I told my mum a little about eating too much, I just don’t think that anyone really understands…

Although I do have a cousin who is morbidly obese who has binge eating disorder… I think she’d be good to speak to :)

Infact I’m gonna see her this weekend!

I think my challenge for the forthcoming week (as well as walking at least 3 miles per day) is to stop eating supper - unless really hungry … 

Steps I’m taking during the challenge to stop myself binge eating?

1. Eating 3 meals a day
2. Eating when I am hungry
3. Allowing myself foods which are not 100% healthy (bread)
4. Not denying myself any food
5. Not thinking about snacking at certain times, and basing it on hunger
6. Taking money with me in case I get hungry and want food
7. Thinking about how good it will be after 21 days of not binging
8. Thinking of how happy I feel after not binging in a day
9. Thinking of my holiday in 2 14 days in which I can’t binge (in mountains so it wont happen :) ) 
10. Reminding myself that my body itself has a calculator of what I need, all controlled by hunger 

These seem positive steps to me :) 

I started because I’d dieted for over a year (mostly healthily), and my body was telling me eat the nutrients I needed, by making it harder for me to ignore the foods I had which stopped me losing weight. I think as well I myself was too strict by denying foods which I should have allowed myself as a treat instead of a ‘banned food, which was bad and would make me put on weight instantly’…

I continue to do so - mostly because of habit. Somewhat so because of self-sabotage. I think my mind is terrified by the thought of becoming the skinny girl who got pressure marks from sitting on hard chairs  - again…

Its silly because I know deep down that eating when hungry and eating a high proportion of healthy food in my diet, is the only real way to stay healthy.

I think the pressure of eating like ‘normally’ has made me binge. Hear me out…

I went through eating too much and being obese, to a year later eating little and being underweight. Now I’m overweight, as friends, family and myself became obsessed with the idea that I should be healthy and happy.

Hello fasting, binging and purging. I managed to give up the purging as I feared for my teeth… And to be honest I was poor at it at best.

Unfortunately I still binge. This uncontrolable nature of it upsets me…

Today is the first day where I stopped focussing on snacks, set meals, times of my meals, eating hideously healthily, avoiding food groups (dairy and fish).

Instead I focussed merely on eating when I was hungry and not thinking that snacks were essential. It’s the first time where I’ve actually not binged in a few weeks.

AMAZINGLY PROUD OF MYSELF :)